Am I?

have I reached the age where I start to appreciate the every little thing in life?


[edited on 20/08/18]

the above sentence was written by me few weeks back.
i wrote that because emotions start to slightly hit me at every little thing that reminds me of the past.
age is catching up and all's left is the memories.
literally felt the meaning of "You Only Live Once".

anyway, the reason I'm blogging it's because last weekend had me thinking.
i attended a funeral of an elderly whom I knew previously from my volunteering.
kinda sudden to me as i always thought she would outlive others (considering being so healthy and positive).
thank god, she passed away peacefully and in the presence of people who care for her.

i know it's not a huge news that deserves a blog post.
but what hits me is that, i just came to realize that there were 3 funerals on saturday.
i didn't attend the other 2 funerals cause i don't really know them directly.

3 funerals.
old age, cancer, accident.
90, 60, 30 years old range.

i heard the stories/events leading up to their deaths (old age & cancer) and it's kinda heartbreaking.
how does it feel to be preparing others for your own funeral?
though it seems in-superstitious but i think it could be necessary.


at first i thought the elderly's funeral would be a quiet one (since she was unmarried). 
but she had distant relatives and grandchildren whom were still in close contact with her.
her cheery attitude was what made her leave a significant impact even though she had left.
it made me wonder, am i leading a fullest or meaningful life before i leave?
do i have something good for others to remember me by?